What a morning
It wasn't your normal, everyday type of school drop-off
“Let’s go!” I brushed my hair out of my face. “You’re gonna be late for school.”
“Mom! You didn’t pack me any snacks!”
“They’re in your backpack.”
The ‘you’re going to be late’ alarm went off on my phone, startling me even though I was expecting it. Ben and Jack dragged their feet over to the door leading out to the garage. Ben was still in his pajamas since he was going start school next year. Meanwhile, Jack stood there holding a waffle that was dripping syrup onto the floor.
“Come on Jack!” I snatched it out of his hand. “You’re gonna be in first grade next year! You should know better.”
“Mom! Give me back my waffle. I’m hungryyy!” Jack tried to snatch it back but I held it up higher and syrup ran down my wrist.
“Get your shoes on. Now! Or I’m leaving without you!”
“Fine. Leave without me.” Jack sat down on the floor.
Little shit. Time to turn it up a notch. “Get your shoes on this second or I’m gonna call Dad!”
Jack scrambled to pull his shoes on, sticking the velcro together. I grabbed a paper towel from the kitchen and wrapped the waffle up in it before washing the syrup off my arm.
“Mommy, I’m being good,” Ben said. “See? I’m ready.”
“Yes you are, honey. Let’s go.”
Ben and Jack walked out into the garage. Leaving me to juggle the backpack and water bottles. God forbid if these kids went one second without water. Like gremlins, they would transform from cute little blessings into raging monsters dying of thirst. Or hunger. Which was why I had a stocked bin of snacks in the car just for them. It was better to shut them up with food than listen to them complain about being ’so hungry they were going to die’.
I followed them out into the garage, punching the button to raise the garage door as Ben took it one step at a time down the stairs. Crap! They had left the car door open last night. Please don’t let the battery be dead! I didn’t have time to jump it this morning and I’d have to find where Henry put the car jumper battery thing. Which would make Jack late for school and then I’d have to call and come up with a tardy excuse.
“Jack! Get in the car! Buckle up!” He had decided to grab his bike and looked like he was about to go for a ride.
“I’m getting in the car Mommy,” Ben climbed through the open door into the car.
“Yes you are, honey. Come on Jack!”
“Stop yelling at me! I don’t want to go to school!” Jack said.
“You don’t have a choice! You need to go!”
My phone rang. I pulled it out of my pocket and saw that my husband, Henry, was calling. Crud. I wouldn’t mention the car was dead until I knew for sure.
“Hey honey!” I answered, getting into the drivers seat.
“Hey. How’s your morning going?” Henry asked.
“We’re getting in the car right now.” I thrust the phone onto my shoulder. Why do you always call when I’m leaving the house? I turned the key and thank god the engine purred to life.
“Ahh. Running late this morning,” Henry said. Oh my. Captain Obvious has arrived. I want to see him get all the kids ready and out of the house.
“Mom!” Jack said. “You forgot my lunch!”
No. You forgot your lunch. I got out of the car. “Yeah, we’re running a little behind this morning.” Lord, please give me patience.
I walked back into the house, grabbing the lunch box from where I had set it next to the garage door earlier that morning.
“You’re not very talkative this morning,” Henry crackled in my ear.
“Sorry. I’m just trying to get out the door.”
“Okay. Well, hey, I was just calling to ask you to pick up some milk. I was gonna have cereal this morning and saw that we were out.”
Yes, you and the kids both noticed the lack of milk. That’s why you had a waffle. Then Jack saw the mess you left on the counter and he wanted a waffle. And now there’s syrup on the floor that I need to clean up when I get back home. “Yeah, I’ll grab some milk today.”
“Okay, thanks Liz. I love you!”
“Love you too.” I hung up and got back in the car.
“Mom! We’re going to be late!” Jack said. He had decided to be worried about school now.
“We’ll get there when we get there.” I thumbed the radio to my favorite station as I pulled out of the driveway.
“Umm,” Ben said. “Nobody buckled me.”
Crap! I slammed the car into park, halfway off the driveway, then got out to buckle him in.
“Sorry buddy, Mommy forgot.” I said as Ben kicked his feet. “Stop squirming honey.”
“Sorry Mommy, I need to pee.” Ben said.
“Can you hold it?”
“No. I really need to pee.”
“Uhh Mom, we don’t have time for Ben to pee.” Jack said.
His hand was riffling through the snack bin between them, the waffle from earlier now on the floor of the car.
“Jack’s right. Can you hold it Ben?”
“I’ll try Mommy.”
Okay, please please please don’t pee your pants. I really don’t want to clean your car seat today. I got back into the drivers seat and was pulling out of the neighborhood when I got another phone call. This time it was my best friend Jean.
“Hey Jean!” I answered. ”Drop your kids off?”
“Yep! Those little hellions are someone else’s problem for the next eight hours!” Jean said. “You wanna go get a pedicure? David’s working from home today, so we can drop Ben off with him.”
Ooo! A pedicure! That sounded so good. My feet were getting rough and I needed someone to spend some time on me. I could pick up milk on the way home and the pile of clean laundry could wait.
“Mommy.” Ben said.
“I’m down girl!” I said. “Are you sure David won’t mind?”
“Of course not, Liz. He loves hanging out with Ben.”
“Mom.” Jack said.
“Okay, as long as you’re sure he won’t mind.”
“He won’t,” Jean said. “Anyways, if he has a meeting, he can just put Bluey on.”
“Mom!” Jack screamed.
“Hold on honey, Mommy’s on the phone,” I said.
“Is that Jack I heard? You haven’t dropped him off yet?” Jean asked.
“Mommy!” Ben screamed.
“No. It’s been one of those mornings.”
“You don’t have to tell me twice. Call me back when you’re on your way.”
“I will,” I hung up. “What do you want Jack?”
“There’s a mouse!” Jack’s shrill voice echoed throughout the car. “Get it away from me!”
“What?” I pushed myself up so that I could see them in the rearview mirror. “What did you say?”
“A mouse!” Ben pointed, pressing himself against the car door.
Red taillights flashed and I slammed on my brakes, almost colliding into the car that was coming to a stop in front of me. I felt something brush my hair as it flew past me and a mouse thudded into my windshield.
“See Mommy!” Ben said. “It’s right there!”
A high pitched shriek left my mouth and filled the car as the mouse got to its feet, stumbling a little from smacking into the windshield. It staggered towards the steering wheel and I tried to push myself backwards in my seat, wishing that I could melt through it. Those beady little eyes narrowed in on me before it turned and skittered away across the dashboard. I inhaled and my lungs gained volume.
“Mommy!” Ben said. “Stop screaming! You’re hurting my ears!”
A biker whizzed by on the right side of the car and the motion startled the mouse enough that it turned and bolted straight at me.
“No no no no!” I screamed, waving my hands.
The mouse hopped, aiming for the steering wheel at the same time that I jerked it to the right so that I could get to the side of the road. Its little feet scrambled an inch from my hand, trying to find purchase on the leather wheel before it slid off and fell. Onto my bare legs. The warm fur tickled as the little claws pitter pattered across my thigh as it tried to run. My legs spasmed as I slammed the car into park. The mouse bouncing off of one leg and under the other, and then I felt the little body squish under my thigh. Why did I have to wear shorts today?! A piercing pain shot through my leg and it spasmed again. The mouse skittered out, racing for my feet. I was getting light headed as my lungs continued to claim space in the car.
The mouse ran over my feet as I opened up my door and leapt out. A car honked as it whizzed by, the wind from it passing pressing up against me. As tears ran down my face I jumped up and down, waving my hands. My eyes glued onto the mouse that was now hiding behind the gas pedal. It shivered as its beady eyes stared back at me.
“Mom!” Jack yelled. “We need to go to school!”
“I know!”
But there was no way I was getting back in there and putting my feet anywhere near that mouse. What if it bit me! I remembered the piercing pain from earlier and wiped my thigh. There was a thin line of blood across my palm. That little bugger!
Red and blue lights flashed in my peripheral vision and I turned as a cop pulled up behind my car. He got out and swaggered over.
“Anything I can help you with miss?”
“Sorry officer, there’s a mouse in my car.”
“A mouse?”
“Yes, yes! Right there. Under the gas pedal.”
The cop leaned over and peered in. “Well I’ll be darned. There sure is a mouse right there.”
“Can you get it out? Can you do something?”
“Sure,” he tapped his index finger on his lips. “Sure. Let me think.”
“Mom! We need to go!” Jack chimed.
“Quiet Jack! Let the officer think.”
The cop snapped his fingers. “I got it. Maybe I can shimmy him out. But hopefully he doesn’t make a break for it under your seat, cuz then I don’t know what we’re gonna do.”
He pulled out his nightstick and flicked his wrist so that it telescoped out. A car swerved as it drove by before screeching to a halt in front of mine. A man scrambled out as he pointed his phone at us, chattering as he recorded. He walked up, but I didn’t bother paying attention to what he was blabbing on about. Neither did the cop who was now bent over inside the car, jabbing the nightstick at the mouse, trying to scare it. It wouldn’t budge though. Even when he actually poked it. Come on!
Jack had enough and he decided on screaming. A shrill eruption burst out of his tiny little throat, making the police officer jump and slam his head into the door frame. The noise jolted the mouse back into action and it scrambled out from under the pedal before leaping out of the car. A second later, I joined Jack’s scream as it skittered over my feet again, the soft fur tickling one more time as the little claws dug in. My chest was heaving and through clouded vision I could see tears plopping onto my shirt.
The cop wished me a good day before walking away rubbing his head. And the random man with the phone kept recording until I got into my car and shut the door. Then he rushed back to his Prius, ducked in, and tooted off. I dropped down my visor and red eyes stared back at me from above rivers of mascara. I tried freshening up with a tissue, my breath slowing down as I did. I finally had enough control to start driving again, and I started playing the future conversation in my mind of what I was going to tell Jean when I saw her as I merged with traffic. What a morning.